Self Reflection on this Holy Day

On this Holy day of Good Friday, I am really moved and motivated to reflect within. One of my favorite songs "Open the Eyes of my Heart" keeps coming to my mind and I know it is a message for me of opening my heart to forgiveness. This has been a week of so many emotions for me, beginning with elation and expectation, followed by total heartache and now ending with absolute gratitude and excitement.

Christ died so that each and everyone of us could be redeemed and have a place in heaven next to Him. Our God is a loving and forgiving Father who does not hold grudges or hold our past against us, He forgives everyone for everything. That is the Love that is available to everyone through Him, and the love each of us should hold in our own hearts for each other.

None of us are perfect though, only Christ is. We are human and we make mistakes. Sometimes we make bad decisions, and sometimes we hurt those we love the most. But God always forgives us and yet we rarely forgive ourselves, and even though we tell ourselves we have forgiven others, that is seldom the case.

When we are on the path to growth and personal development, we can unknowingly block the blessings and the growth we seek. Often, we are not aware of what is causing the block to occur, but it is always something within ourselves that we must deal with in order to move forward.

I have known for a long time that I was not achieving my potential, although I was being teased by it, never actually experiencing the level I knew to be available to me. I have also known the reason to be within me and something I had to deal with.

Now I realize that it is self forgiveness for mistakes that I have made. And even though those mistakes are not what others perceive, the mistake is of not speaking up about a terrible injustice and setting the record straight. I just could not speak up and accuse someone I loved of falsely accusing me and purposely hurting me. Instead of standing up for myself, I left it to others to figure out. I thought long ago that I had forgiven those involved, but failed to forgive myself for not taking care of me, in the interim. For this, I have held myself back from experiencing God's greatest blessings and for this I forgive myself and everyone involved, totally and completely.

Why would we not forgive ourselves when God is willing to forgive us for everything? Why can we not live in the Grace that is available to us? Why must we create our own inner turmoil, simply by expecting others to accept responsibility for their words? Why must we live in anything other than joy inside when God wants to give us total peace of mind.

I am so very grateful that my life opened up to a new level this week. I am aware of so many wonderful things around me and so many wonderful people in my life. And even though, some of those people may never be an active part of my life again, I am grateful to them and love them dearly, with total forgiveness and gratitude for helping me to open the eyes of my heart and see the future clearly.

Happy Easter to everyone, in Christ's love.