Dealing with Great and Real Adversity - How Quickly Focus can Change

Those of us in the Personal Development world, working on ourselves, on a mission of living our greatest good and fulfilled life, know the value of keeping the focus on the future desire, not the current situation.

But you know, sometimes, you hit a bump in the road that not only takes your breath away, but puts you flat on the ground, face down with bricks on your back!

I have had this experience just this week and I feel a major part of keeping this in perfect perspective is to tell you about it and share where my thoughts have been. First of all, I am not sharing this information with you for any reason other than I truly feel my thoughts on this may be of help to others.

This is a situation that would have completely ended my life, not too long ago. A situation that would have ripped from me my entire reason for living...

Ten days ago, I learned my husband had cancer, then I learned it was aggressive and non-operable, non-curable stage IV Kidney cancer, that had already spread to his lungs, brain and other organs. Within 48 hours, I literally went from living on top of the World, to drowing in an ocean of fear and pain.

Wow, here I am with my focus entirely on how much fun we can have in our lives with travel, new experiences and living a life of our creation.,
And suddenly, reality that my primary focus of my life (my wonderful husband), is no longer going to be with me.

At first, I did what most loving and adoring wives do, I cried for about 24 hours. A big part of that was the knowing that my wonderful husband will not be a part of my future and of course a part of it being that He will not experience all we have planned. And, of course there was a little of "why me, why him" questions.

The first few days, he did not know what was happening. The brain tumor kept him from understanding and that was a blessing for me, since I did not have to tell him what was happening. He struggled to speak at all at this point, so basically he just kept smiling and laughing at pretty much nothing and occasionally with a great deal of difficulty asking me "Why are you so sad".

My heart was broken and I could not tell him about it. But on the evening of the 3rd day and after some heavy duty treatment to reduce brain swelling, he was able to talk and comprehend much better than before, even though tremendous effort was required. At this point, he wanted to know where he was, he could see the view was not our hometown, so I explained to him he was in a hospital 2 hours from our home and of course he wanted to know why.

He asked if he had had a stroke and my urge to not tell the truth was strong, but I decided he had to know the truth.

I carefully explained to him about his cancer, of course not going into great detail but enough for him to understand. Then it happened! My pain turned to pride and to joy for this beautiful man that I had loved for 29 years. With just a few words, he empowered me with the focus and the direction that I needed to deal with this in a way that would not only help him, but help me get to where we were headed.

This amazing gentle, loving and insightful man simply smiled and stated "Well, it is what it is and we do what we do, but YOU have a mission and this is a part of that mission."

This, to most people, will not seem very important. But he has observed my growth for so many years. He has seen me go from a highly stressed Corporate person to someone who's goal is self peace and service. He has quietly seen the change from a person who "reacted" to everything with great passion and enthusiasm (tears, anger and opinionated), to a person who sees the vision and does not stop to look at the bumps in the road.

But to me, it reminded me of the years of self development that I have gone through. It reminded me of watching the movie "The Secret" time after time to learn the power of self direction and self focus. It reminded me of all the speeches, articles, conference calls and everything else where I have stated time and again, "focus is everything, adversity is a bump that should never take your focus from your goal".

It reminded me of the many times that I said "Your greatest adversity will always come right before your greatest blessing."

In his belabored way, he was telling me this was a huge bump in the road and the years of development were simply to prepare me for this event. I understood so very much at this point. I understood the meaning of adversity, yes, but I understood so much more. I understood where I was going, for the first time in my life.

I am reminded of a quote: "Your living is determined not so much by what life brings you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens."

I know that living without Jerry is going to be my greatest challenge. But I also am extremely grateful for the time we have had together and I am standing on a miracle that I see everyday. The miracle of more time with him.

He knows my mission is to help as many people as possible to find and create their futures. He knows I want to lead thousands to freedom and self direction. But to do that, I must lead myself first. And even though I have found much of that freedom, he knows it must be My Own Freedom!

The next months, years or whatever time we have together is going to be so incredibly special. We have had wonderful times and adventures together and they have not yet ended. It is going to be a time of joy, pain, fun, challenge and so many other feelings. But it will be a time of great love and growth.

I will share as much of it as I can with you, my dear friends. And this sharing will be a part of my mission.

My focus is so much different now. I know my purpose is to make him as happy and as comfortable as possible, but it is so much more. Not only must I carry on with my goals and my mission of helping others find their personal and financial freedom, but to carry an attitude that empowers others to face adversity and find themselves in spite of it and because of it.

In love and to your unstoppable success...